WCW's feel the Burn at "Sunburn"

It's been a while since we've posted here on WCW but the summer has been busy and after recovering from yet another birthday I haven't felt motivated to do anything but sulk. No, I'm partially kidding, but this birthday was a true eye-opener.  I had the great idea of having a birthday gathering at the San Diego Hard Rock Hotel Pool Party otherwise known as "Sunburn."  This invitation to my friends was received with a few sideways glances (even from my fellow co-blogger!) and a couple of "Really?"s but I was committed to making this happen.  My motivations stemmed from all the things you readers are probably aware of;  I love day drinking, I love bikinis and heels, I love wearing a lot of makeup, and I love dancing around to obnoxiously loud music.  It has also been quite a few years since I've made an appearance at a shindig of this sort so I thought why the hell not.  Well here are some harsh truths when a woman of my age decides to step out of her lane and into the world of San Diego's "adult" pool party.

Truth 1- Bikini and Heels are only good in theory

Approaching the birthday festivities I was FOR SURE rocking the adult pool party uniform of bikini + heels.  I was so FOR SURE this was gonna be my outfit of choice that whenever my birthday was remotely mentioned I'd reply "Bikini and heels!"  Flash forward to the day of, and I'm standing in front of the mirror donning the long awaited gear, and I just CAN'T DO IT.  No angle in the mirror and no selfie made me feel the sexiness I thought I'd feel .  Reality is, there's only a handful of times I've actually rocked the bikini and heels and it was while I was in Vegas on a 3-day bender which ended with a wardrobe malfunction involving a slip of the kitty.  So here I am. Older, wiser, embarrassed that I even thought this was ok... and went for the sensible sandal instead.

Truth 2- PDA's are for Pool Parties

Monkey style never goes out of style. 'Nuff said

Truth 3- Evacuate the Pool at 1pm

Nothing is less refreshing than a dip in the herpes-infested murky pool of drunk douche bags and their gf's dry humping under water.  I've made it this many years without an STD and today is not the day I'm playing that kinda Russian roulette.  At 3pm the cocktail waitresses spray everyone in and around the swimming pool down with cheap champagne, which means a sugary, sunscreeny sludge fills the pool.  Besides, getting wet wasn't part of the agenda when I spent so much time perfecting my contour.   Hard Rock Hotel was also kind enough to provide ponchos for those not wanting to get their poolside kaftans wet. 

Truth 4- EDM means White Boy Boogie

Enthusiasm and commitment makes this guy a winner every day. 

So there you have it folks.  Just your standard WCW shit show.  Until next time, enjoy some other snaps we got in below gallery....

Giddy Up! Del Mar Opening Day Shenanigans

In typical WCW fashion i'm late at posting this. Laziness, humidity, Prosecco and summer happened making me useless, but Del Mar Opening Day took place a couple weeks ago.  The event was on a Friday this year and despite all the anticipation and fanfare, it came and went as quickly and as sloppily as Trevor the aspiring singer i met in Rosarito  (this was pre WCW days hubby if your reading this. OBVI!). This is truly one of my favorite events of the year for a multitude of silly reasons: I love to dress up, I love to drink, and i love watching hot messes.   Luckily we had access to The Turf Club.  I guess i shouldn't say "luckily" since on most days Turf Club is a high end members only joint with uppity San Diegans in their seer suckers and their Tori Burch sweater sets but on Opening Day it had basically reduced itself to the vibe of a jam packed Vegas night club filled with middle aged Real Housewives look alikes.

This fancy shit show is probably one of the best people watching events of the year. For woman It's not only about big hats and fancy fascinators.  Skimpy cocktail attire and stillettos are the uniform of choice.  This year Valentino Rockstud pumps with Self Portrait style laced bodycon dreses were on heavy rotation as well as freshly inflated Juvederm pouts and cougars with obscene cleavage.  On a side note i just learned that if you are a lady age 50 plus you have graduated from cougar to sabre tooth tiger.  That is just offensive.  Back on topic....The men.  For once, here is an event where men actually participate in dressing up and wear their best suits or their Hamptons inspired finery. Think of Lord Scott Dissick but a couple divorces deep and amidst a mid-life crisis.

Yes, one of those photos is in the ladies room.  And yes i am a shady hoe for snapping these unassuming pictures, but seriously NO judgement ladies! Rock on with yo' bad self.  Anyone who knows me knows i'm a fan of dressing way out of my age group (and body type).  Bikini and heels anyone?? 

We also got the hook up to the official after-party at L' Auberge Hotel and Spa. The debauchery continued and the people watching DID NOT disappoint.   No one was safe from the predatory stares of middle aged men with exposed chest hair and wedding band tan lines or the newly divorced cougar who was five Chardonnays deep and ready to "get hers". It was straight up BOLD the stares Hubby would get from those salivating sabre tooth tigers whilst me on his arm. Y'all may not know this, but i will cut a bitch.  

Let the hunting begin...

Middle aged men behaving badly

Del Mar Opening Day you never fail.  i'll be counting the days till next year!

Ok WCW's Let's Get in Formation

Let me hear you say "Hey Ms Carter!" Heyyyyyyyy. Yup WCW got the squad together to bow before the altar of Yonce at Qualcomm Stadium last night.  This long awaited event prompted hours of "What are you wearing?" discussion and "Heels? Flats? or Wedges?" We must have some kinda weird mental connection because rocking skimpy statement bodysuits screaming "Slay" and "Bae Watch".was how us WCW's stayed in theme.  I broke out my Isabel Marant knockoff sneaker wedges (i'm still not 100% confident wearing) to tie my whole quasi-urban street chic look together. Thus finding this fence by the porto potties meant urban photo shoot time.  Check out them Becky's with the good hair.  

Now enough of my self indulgent OOTD rant.  Let's bring it back to the Queen Bey.  The day's excitement for our crew of 5 was too much for us to keep it together on our Uber ride to the stadium.  The inching traffic made us caged savages leading to fist fights on which Bey anthem was going to be playing as we rolled up, debate on the actual definition of Truffle Butter, and discussion of which is the best Blac Chyna emoji. Finally at the concert we rushed to a bar guzzled bad Chardonnay and Coors light to calm the nerves. Then waited........

I came to Slay beeeee-itch

Ohhhhh Lord did she deliver.  It is no surprise that her voice, her dancing, and performance were FLAWLESS.  She sang her Lemonade album (which I luckily binge listened and memorized so that Bey and I could sing in unison), and scream worthy hits like Partition, Crazy in Love and my personal favorite Blow Pop.  I don't know what multivitamin Yonce is taking but how do you sing, dance, and look so damn good? By the end of an almost two hour set her makeup, hair and composure was still on point. Bodysuits were not just a theme for the WCW's, in fact Beyonce had a bodysuit collection for each wardrobe change that did not disappoint.  When in life can i rock a poet shirt bodysuit with that much swag? 

I'll  go put my lady boner away and go nurse my ruptured vocal chords.  Went a little too hard trying to hit that high note in Halo.  Here's a selfie parade from last nights shenanigans brought to you by the Lumee Lighted cell phone case. 

Until next time "Middle Fingers up, hold your hands high, wave 'em in his face, tell that boy BYE"

Are You For RealReal??

So my fellow WestCoastWife and I vibe on multiple levels. In classic BFF form I hated her upon introduction and that slowly turned into tolerance which then matured into love, respect, and friendship level status: pee with the door open.

One of the 7,592 things we just "get" about each other is our matching RealReal obsession. If you have a weakness for labels and yet to hear of this luxury consignment online shop, consider yourself warned.  In fact, here: THIS WEBSITE SHOULD NOT BE VISITED UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF ALCOHOL AND/OR UPPERS, COULD INHIBIT IMPULSE CONTROL AND PROVE HARMFUL TO YOUR SAVINGS, MARITAL RELATIONS, AND JOB PERFORMANCE OR ANY OTHER ACTIVITY THAT REQUIRES ONLINE ACTIVITY. 

Sidenote… Google searching 'warning signs' images can also be distracting...

Um, ANYWAYS, The RealReal has by far the best selection of second-hand designer duds, from bags to shoes to wardrobe to accessories at amazing prices plus the frequent killer sale. Upon entering the site, you will probably see the resident '20% OFF SALE,' pop a chub, and buy all the things.  Keep in mind this offer is always there in one form or another, and if you are able to contain yourself and hold out- just like with men- that's when things can get really interesting.  The best way to score a deal that would make Coco Chanel herself roll over in her grave is to create a profile and "obsess" over your faves.  This basically adds them to a list where you can watch over your babies like a hawk and when they go on sale- BAM- steal city.  Some sales are better than others, so keep in mind that there's a fine line in this game of chicken, and if you get too cocky you'll experience the whole 'didn't know what you had until it was gone' pain. RIP hot pink Lanvin wallet, YSL Tribute wedges, Gucci sailer shorts… thanks for all the dream-haunting!

Tuyen and I have taken our obsession to psycho proportions and a receiving a text from Tuyen at an hour of the evening typically reserved for drunk dials and bootie calls is a standard occurrence. Could be drunken, definitely tittilating, and typically consists simply of a link along with a statement subliminally searching for a push, a slap of comment sense, or at least an acknowledgement of the internal struggle taking place. Example: "I don't need these… but that PRICE" or "I will never purchase there. But I wish I had a place to wear them." or the always damaging "YOU need these." 

Ahhhhh RealReal, you feel so good you can't be bad- I mean, if we insist our closet be fresh to death at least we can do it in a less destructive fashion. And we thank you for that. Amen.

La Liste Vogue.

Sometimes the stars align and you have the miles, the time, the friends, and the hubby's permission to take an impromptu flash trip to Paris.  Here's how it happened:  First, I've been diligently charging up my credit cards earning miles to make this happen, oh the sacrifices I make for cheap airfare! Second, the hubby owes Mama some ME TIME after leaving me a single mommy after a slew of business trips and a never-ending bachelor party.  Third, the trip is a quick 5 day in-and-out with two of my long-time BFFs to one of my favorite cities in the world...PARIS.  We've all done the tourist trap "have-to's": the Louvre (snore), Notre Dame (snore), Montmarte (snore).  Sorry history buffs, I appreciate the beauty and history of it all but all those museum admissions are cutting into my shopping budget and those long lines are cutting into my fromage and champagne time.  Therefore this trip is all about cruising around looking cute, eating croissant and baguette like it's the new diet, drinking rose all day, and above all PARISIENNE SHOPPING.

So let's be clear, as much as I wish I can run through the Champs Elysee checking off all the below designer goodies, my husband isn't a Shah from Dubai and I really don't want to check in my luggage.  This is truly just a wish list. HOWEVER if Chanel has a clearance sale including Boy Bags and ballet flats then sorry hubby, I can't be stopped.  

Chanel Boy Bag

I didn't think I was a Boy Bag kinda girl until Kylie Jenner posted this iridescent green, mermaid hue chained beauty.  If I find this in Paris all bets are off and sorry to my baby boy, but college will have to wait.  (i'm totally kidding....kinda....)

Isabel Marant Boots

Nothing says Paris City Chic like Isabel Marant. City wear is the new couture and Isabel Marant sure charges prices like it.  I have yet to see these boots in person, but perhaps this trip I can take a mini-stroll through the boutique then gently put them back on to the shelf in tears.  

Hermes Clic Clac

Costume jewelry shouldn't cost as much as this does (over a thousand dollars).  Out of principle I should scoff at this bracelet but deep down I just really want one.  Don't judge.

Maison Michel Hat

These city hats are a celebrity favorite and if Bey has one then I have to have one.  Maison Michel has so many amazing styles that hold their shape, are water proof, and fit like a dream.  These hats at their cheapest are $400 but can get upwards to the ticket price of $1200! ARRRGGGHHHH    

Chloe Drew Bag

If you haven't been following our blog then you can read about my love story with the Chloe Drew here.  Nuff said.

Saint Laurent Jane Sandals

A sexy more expensive version of the Stuart Weitzman Nudist sandal.  These stilettos scream get on my feet!

Thierry Mugler Dress

Thierry Mugler has been on my radar for the last year and I'm obsessed.  Of course Khloe is donning one of my coveted dresses from his most recent collection, but who knew Nicki Minaj would be rocking something I would EVER want to wear!! For this, the Mugler boutique is definitely getting a visit.  

If I were to purchase the above list, for the same price point I could instead purchase a Hybrid Ford Focus or add a bathroom to my in-law unit. Neither things I want, but would probably be more useful and have more longevity.  Although, arguably Chanel and Chloe are timeless....The truth is my greed surmounts the above list.  I didn't even mention the other Parisienne heavy hitters:  Louis Vuitton, Christian Louboutin, Givenchy, Cartier, Lanvin, Celine, etc. Sigh...... I'll keep y'all posted on how the list fairs.  Until then, Au Revoir!!!

WCW Show Me Love Up in Da Club

When the Hubby had a work event involving bottle service with 50 cent at Parq nightclub my inner groupie jumped at the opportunity. Sitter? Check, Freak em Dress? Check. Lack of sense and decorum? Check and check.  Here's the catch, this was taking place on a Sunday, and Fifty wasn't showing up till 12:30 am, GASP!  So my weekend consisted of resting up (lord knows anything past 10 pm on a Sunday and I turn in to a pumpkin), burning some calories (this last week I will neither confirm nor deny eating all of my toddler's teddy grahams), and starving myself so I could squeeze back into a white number I wore for the Hubby's bday seen here.  

If Magic Stick drops, so will my panties

It's been a while since I hit the club so I didn't get the memo that you don't have to be a gogo dancer to show up in your underwear. Who knew If I wanted to wear my bra and hanky panky's no one would have looked at me sideways? In my attempts to skank it up I ended up feeling the most demure (and feeling really old). The club was sold out and insanely packed. At one point I yelled "It's Sunday! Don't any of these people have jobs?!"  to which someone responded "Most of these people are in college." Alas, again I have aged myself, so to numb this reality, Effen Black Cherry Vodka to the rescue (Fifty Cent is a sponsor of the vodka and was promoting it on this night).  

The blonde beside him is not his ex Chelsea Handler but I kept my eyes peeled just in case they rekindled.

Alcohol doesn't only give me liquid courage, it also gives me groupie goggles. On our way to go welcome Fifty to his table I got a bit confused when a gentlemen I thought was the rapper himself pulled me to his table. I stood there feeling like I was some kinda hoodrat special until I realized that it wasn't Fifty at all!  The flashing lights and the Effen Vodka had me all discombobulated. After a couple of eye rolls from the hubby we finally made our way to the real deal VIP table, (which by the way is on the stage and not down below with all the clubbing minions).  The desperate housewife in me couldn't help but flirtatiously touch Fifty's shoulder confessing "I am a HUGE fan of your work.  Wanna take a selfie?"  Yeah, keeping it cool wasn't on the docket tonight, but with stars in my eyes I'd do anything for a selfie with a rapper, famed for his works from 10 years ago.  That's all for now, but before i sign off here's a drunkie selfie parade from the evening. 

I Left my V-Card in BVI

Ok so I know I've been superrr MIA but it was for good reason.  I, Jeanie, traveled via boat hopping around the British Virgin Islands (or BVI to those in the know) and did it alllllllll for you.  I know. My new year's resolution to be more selfless takes sacrifice, but at the end of the day it's #sorewarding.

Being the cruise virgin that I was, I definitely got all 'trial and error'd'-out for this one and thought I'd be a gem and share my new-found sea-legged wisdom and/or some general musings.

1) I packed soooooooo wrong. For the girl that is a chronic over-packer, I've never reached the levels of epic-faildom as I did on this holiday. I honestly don't know what I was thinking, but just be aware that you can't segue your cut-off shorts into evening by throwing on a tank top and wedges.  Dress codes aren't just for private schools apparently and dresses, NICE pants, and 'evening-chic' duds are required.  Let's just say my Lorna Jane leggings made multiple appearances, a swimsuit coverup posed as a dress, and my lace pajama shorts definitely crashed a party. So, basically I recommend packing all the things.

2) Do NOT go on cruise-organized shore excursions unless you want to pay a million dollars to hang out with losers all day. Your strategy should be to walk off the ship, flip off the mass of tards waiting for their shuttles, then make your way to the enthusiastic locals dying to show you the sights for $20 (EVERYTHING is $20, btw). It's way more fun this way and no small talk with that crusty German grandpa that smells like sausages required.

3) In theory the gym sounds like FUCK THAT but in reality it's more like, "Oh, that was actually kinda nice." I'm actually one of those annoying people that works out on vacation, and this is mostly to make space in my stomach so I can shovel more free buffet food down my pie-hole and sweat out the previous night's 27 sauv blancs. Yes, it takes a bit of motivation to get your ass up and to the gym, but I made it a point to go every morning after day two and it always ended up being the best idea ever.  The ship I was cruising boasted a gym at the front of the boat with floor to ceiling windows all across the front wall, so each morning I was able to hamster-wheel it on a treadmill while ogling a brand spanking new island (and envisioning the bikini I'd be offending the locals in). The best part of waking up are sweat stains on that butt.

4) Seasickness is REAL. I've always had a bit of a weak stomach, so I was prepared.  I know even the non-drowsy dramamine makes me feel like Will Ferrel in Old School after he was shot with a tranquilizer dart so I was going the au natural route with ginger pills. Ok no. I brought a knife to a gun fight on that one. After spending the majority of our only 'at sea' day tossing (instead of eating) cookies, I said yes to drugs and plowed through the ensuing brain fartdom upchuck-free (aka the way to be). By the end of the trip I had found a strategy that worked best for me, which was to take a 12-hour motion sick pill an hour or two before bed. I felt the worst lying down, so this cured that problemo plus made me sleep like a rock. Got 99 problems but uneating ain't one.

Oh man, there's so many more I can think of but in order to actually end my radio silence I'm just going to make it rain vacay photos and call it good. Mele Kalikimaka.

Did you know.....????

Have you ever wondered what happens with your coats when you leave them on the bed at a party?

Yup, we made coat angels and took selfies with your phone.  YOUR WELCOME! Hope you had a fantastic holiday!

xxoo

The wives

What We Wore- Ho ho HO's Edition

Every year I throw a Holiday bash that promises yummy food and plenty of libations.  What it also guarantees is a derailing of composure and a shit show of stories to be shared throughout the upcoming year. To give you an idea; a panty parade, a street fight, a dead goldfish, and a vegan eating holiday ham is just scratching the surface on some of the debaucles that have happened in past years. If Halloween is an excuse for ladies to get a free pass to dress in a slutty costume, then this Holiday party is the opportunity to go big with skin tight, skin bearing, sparkly cocktail attire.  

Jeanie:

• Metallic Skirt - Material Girl, bought at GW(!), similar here
• Deep Plunge Body Suit- F21 (available here, online only)
• Leather Peep Toe Slingbacks - Christian Louboutin - similar here

Tuyen:

• Leather Skirt - Vince found here however  i purchased mine at TJ Maxx for $59.99!!!
• Bandage Top- Tobi (Borrowed from fellow WCW Jeanie!)
• Suede T-Strap Red Peep Toe Shoes- Gucci Betty T-Strap similar here

There was some other fashionable honorable mentions:

On the left a soon to be married WCW Curvy "Air Wrecka" rocked a gold black and lace body-con number by Marchesa Notte. On the Right WCW follower and dear friend "I'm not Kors, not yet a Berkin" turned heads in a Badgley Mischka Black Sequin jumpsuit with her Stuart Weitzman Nudist heels.  It's so nice to have such stylishly enthusiastic friends!

You can scroll through some of the evenings snapshots to follow the fall from grace.....

Giving Thanks

We can't leave this day unrecognized so we thought we would share the top things these West Coast Wives are thankful for...

Queen JLo

I'm sure you saw her AMA performance this past week.  If you haven't, crawl out of that rock you've been under it is amaze-balls.  We are thankful for Miss Jenny for the Block for not only making me question my sexuality but also for showing us that  your 40's can look so damn good. What excuses do we have in our 30's?! NONE. Bow down when you come to JLo's town.

Paris

We can be snarky and silly here on WCW but in all seriousness, a city known for inspiring so much culture, history, art, (Chanel),  and love they have shown such resilience and beauty in the aftermath of such a horrific tragic event. It truly is a reminder to be thankful and appreciative for the life we have and of all the lives around us.  

Cyber Monday

Thanks to Cyber Monday we are able spend Black Friday nursing hangovers and watching Xmas specials far, far away from overly aggressive shoppers yanking their screaming kids around. We prefer the civilized route-  checking off the 'ol gift list from the safety of our offices on company time.

The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

Right smack dab in the middle of the holidays, this annual phenomenon serves as a crucial reminder to slow your Christmas cookie roll.  Nothing, and I mean NOTHING makes you feel more like a slobbery obese with frosting on your neck rolls than watching these beautiful freaks of nature strutting their bad ass selves down the runway. VSFS season is my bathing suit season. I train to tune in.

Herbal 'Remedies'

While portioning and moderation are daily exercises in self-control during the months of Novemebr and December, we can't completely deprive ourselves during the holidays. Thanks to our herbal remedies (think less Cheech and Chong and more Swiss Kriss and Ballerina Tea) we're able to keep things moving along and give that cheese board that might have been chased with a pumpkin pie an exit strategy.

Friends

San Diego (aka home for us WCWs) is a transplant city where finding a native San Diegan is basically the equivalent to finding a unicorn. Whether out here for school, work, or eternal sunshine the truth is we don't have family that chased the dream with us (um, thank god). During the holidays though this can be a bummer which is why there's no ship like FWENDSHIP. We rely on our pals and they really become our second fam bam. And with this family we can drink that bottle of champs through a crazy straw and wear slutty holiday attire with wayyyy less judgement. 

Husbands

Now we couldn't be a WCW without our WCHusband's.  Although we have to put up with their spontaneous flatulence, forgetfulness when it comes to yet another dinner plan, their hands on their junk in front of the TV, their drunken seduction attempts, (the list can go on!) we are so grateful for these hubbys and all the love and support they offer us all day erday.  Who else can dodge questions like "Does this make me look fat?" and "Which celebrity would you want as you hall pass?" Who else will sit and hold our purses at the next Bloomie's sale?  Who else will let us pick at their faces like a mother orangutan? We may put up with a lot with these baboons but we ladies are no walk in the park either!  Thank you boys for loving us even when we ugly cry.  

Happy Thanksgiving from the WestCoastWives- xoxoxoxoxo!!!

What We Wore...

We wives got the opportunity to broaden our cultural horizons and attend Art San Diego '15, A Spectrum Art Show, last Thursday. When VIP tix to the opening night presented themselves, we had to make an appearance with the hubbies.  After a few "VIP" blunders (aka having a nerd with a walkie-talkie explain that our "VIP" access wasn't the "VIP VIP" status and to stop trying to swipe free drink and food from the private patios) we steered our attention away from the forbidden fondue fountains and ice sculptures and instead brought our focus to the event and all it's glory. Who needs liquified cheese when we have access to row after row of art exhibits, crowds of great people watching, disgusting expensive chardonnay and our hangry husbands in tow?

As much as I would like to describe the art exhibits and discuss our favorite expressions of pointillist art, I have no idea what that even means nor do I know anything about cubism or neo-dada.  Thus, lets focus on what was most important to us....

What We Wore! 

Tuyen

Bodysuit,Vagabond from Van de Vorte Del Mar $42 (Still Available here ). Handbag, Prada Saffiano Lux (never on sale here.). Gatsby Booties, Christian Dior (many seasons ago).  Tights, Spanx.

Jeanie

Dress, Splendid (on sale HERE!). Handbag, Yves Saint Laurent. Socks + Wedge Booties, Forever 21 (boots back in stock and awesome!!!).

Ride or Die B*%ches

I would like to think as I sit here in my cute little craftsman home while driving my white energy efficient SUV, as I carefully meal plan my family's week and strategize my 401k investments that I could be a Ride or Die Bi@#^ch.   Do I have what it takes? What does it mean to be ride or die? Who is truly ride or die? 

Beyonce and Jay-Z put it in song with "Me and my Girlfriend" and despite rumors of Hova's infidelities Mrs. Carter still proclaims "I love me some Jay-Z".  

Hot as f*&k Rihanna took multiple clocks from long time goofy looking boyfriend Chris Brown and despite being publicly revealed as a battered girlfriend she still stood by his side (what penis size could make a fox like her forgive that?). It  wasn't until after pouring her heart out in her cathartic and (best song ever!) single "Stay" did RiRi finally kick the violent habit.  

But lets step away from just the hip hop community...

New Jersey Housewife Teresa Giudice is now serving 15 months hard time after husband Joe took her down a rabbit hole of multiple fraud counts.  With her sentence near an end she will still be returning home to her man ...who will be whisked away 2 days later for his 42 month penitentiary holiday.  

"One day you'll be my first b#^*ch"

Let's not forget our downest B$%&^ of the country;  Washington's very own Hilary Clinton. As first lady she stood by her fellated, polka-dot blue dress staining hubby after a humiliation of global proportions.

But now I have to honor one of WestCoastWives very own ride or die B$^&ches of the hour. Our Calabasas-born Khloe Kardashian.  She gets an honorary mention in today's blog for going to extraordinary lengths to really hold on to her West Coast Wives status.  Miss Khloe K (or shall I say Khloe Odom), decided this past weekend to dismiss her and Lamar's divorce case AFTER her estranged husband put himself in to a drug induced coma while partying too hard with hookers.  It has been an already messy separation with disputes over Khloe's vs Lamar's net worth and dealing with Lamar's ever worsening drug addiction. To add to the overflowing water under the bridge Khloe publicly rebounded with B-rated rapper French Montana, and then moved on to another fling with NBA player James Harden. This is all happening whilst Lamar loses his contract with the Knicks. BURN!

But through ALL of this it hasn't stopped Khloe from claiming Lamar as "the love of her life."  In an interview with Complex Khloe, she stated; 

“Oh my god, I miss him every day, I miss what we had—things we got to do together our just memories. I like looking back and holding on to that stuff. I definitely miss it, and there’s times I’ll get so sentimental and so sad, but this had to happen for some reason. I’ll figure it out over time, someone will give me that answer eventually. I think it would be very f—-ing weird if I didn’t miss it.”

Sigh,  The heart wants what the heart wants.  Kinda romantic in this convoluted sea of poop. But let;s address what is really on everyone's mind...

Sadness suits me....

BAM!  Khloe cut her hair and she is slaying it!!!  As you may already know I've been obsessed with her for the last 6 months and this new hair is giving me more reason to obsess.  She looks AMMMMMAZZZINGGG!!! and if I could rock a lob, i'd be racing to my hair stylist with this photo.  But unfortunately with this 'do I'll end up resembling either a Connie Chung inspired anchor woman, or a suburban soccer mom (no offense suburban moms out there).  Trauma, chaos and a lob look good on you Khloe. So on that note, from one WestCoastWife to another-  we wish you and Lamar the best.

-Tuyen

drop the mic

Sunday vibes. Check ya tomorrow.

And we're LIVE!!!

After much talk and contemplation WestCoastWives is finally no longer just an idea but is now here for our and your entertainment!  It all began 5 years ago as two single girls became friends and realized their mutual love for long distance running, buttery chardonnay, fart jokes, and Christian Louboutin. Since then we have become hitched and now our combined interests have extended to Spanish wine, low carb diets, embarassing sexcapades and Lanvin.  

The process of getting us two neurotic queen bees to sit down commit and create was as hard as it was to wake up and decide to go gluten free for a month.  But we will be blogging and blabbering on for much longer than a month and we are so excited to share the many insights and blunders of a West Coast Wife.  

Although our namesake involves wives we are not exclusively speaking to married women or even just women.  This is our platform to show our perspective of what it's like to be a  person/woman/wife,  living in this crazy world of Southern California.  Staying on trend and in style is like a part time job and keeping up with the endless youth and beauty  around you can make you want to either throw on your fat sweats and cry or squeeze into your Herve Leger knock off in desperation.  WestCoastWives is a plethora of topics from fashion wins, fails and finds to beauty tips to recipes and restaurant critiques to just our unadulterated opinion on Zac Effrons lower abdomen.  We are here to explore it all!  Keep in mind we are still in the beta phase so minor changes and updates will be made as we go.  But please feel free to explore and troll around as you would on any ex-lover's Facebook page. Thank you for joining us on this journey and stay connected as we bring you more blogs on WestCoastWives!  Before I sign off, here is our version of.....

Top 10 ways you know your a WestCoastWife

1.  You opted for the tuna tartare appetizer rather than an entree so you could save the calories for an extra glass of wine...or two.....

2.  You have a collection of amazing designer handbags that were either purchased used, black market, occasionally full retail- but only after getting your husband to cave by finally performing that one act you claimed "you had too much self respect for!!!"

3.  Pregnancy means 10 months of strategizing your Beyonce inspired post-baby bod debut.

4.  You know what "marionette lines" and "elevens" are.

5.  You have mastered the selfie without succumbing to the duck face.

6.  You receive spam email from Gilt, Shopbop, Hautelook, Revolve, ASOS, TheRealReal...

7.  Having a youthful healthy tan while trying to also prevent premature aging from the sun is a balancing act where bronzer, trendy sun hats and zig zagging to the shady side of the street is common place.  

8.  You've taken at least one Barre, Soul Cycle, Piyo, or Bikram class this week.  

9.  Sunday Brunch means skimpy rompers, aviators, and stilettos/wedges with a mimosa main course.

10.  You have an arsenal of laxatives and detox teas in the event you need to squeeze into that cut out Halston Heritage dress you've been waiting to debut.