I Left my V-Card in BVI
Ok so I know I've been superrr MIA but it was for good reason. I, Jeanie, traveled via boat hopping around the British Virgin Islands (or BVI to those in the know) and did it alllllllll for you. I know. My new year's resolution to be more selfless takes sacrifice, but at the end of the day it's #sorewarding.
Being the cruise virgin that I was, I definitely got all 'trial and error'd'-out for this one and thought I'd be a gem and share my new-found sea-legged wisdom and/or some general musings.
1) I packed soooooooo wrong. For the girl that is a chronic over-packer, I've never reached the levels of epic-faildom as I did on this holiday. I honestly don't know what I was thinking, but just be aware that you can't segue your cut-off shorts into evening by throwing on a tank top and wedges. Dress codes aren't just for private schools apparently and dresses, NICE pants, and 'evening-chic' duds are required. Let's just say my Lorna Jane leggings made multiple appearances, a swimsuit coverup posed as a dress, and my lace pajama shorts definitely crashed a party. So, basically I recommend packing all the things.
2) Do NOT go on cruise-organized shore excursions unless you want to pay a million dollars to hang out with losers all day. Your strategy should be to walk off the ship, flip off the mass of tards waiting for their shuttles, then make your way to the enthusiastic locals dying to show you the sights for $20 (EVERYTHING is $20, btw). It's way more fun this way and no small talk with that crusty German grandpa that smells like sausages required.
3) In theory the gym sounds like FUCK THAT but in reality it's more like, "Oh, that was actually kinda nice." I'm actually one of those annoying people that works out on vacation, and this is mostly to make space in my stomach so I can shovel more free buffet food down my pie-hole and sweat out the previous night's 27 sauv blancs. Yes, it takes a bit of motivation to get your ass up and to the gym, but I made it a point to go every morning after day two and it always ended up being the best idea ever. The ship I was cruising boasted a gym at the front of the boat with floor to ceiling windows all across the front wall, so each morning I was able to hamster-wheel it on a treadmill while ogling a brand spanking new island (and envisioning the bikini I'd be offending the locals in). The best part of waking up are sweat stains on that butt.
4) Seasickness is REAL. I've always had a bit of a weak stomach, so I was prepared. I know even the non-drowsy dramamine makes me feel like Will Ferrel in Old School after he was shot with a tranquilizer dart so I was going the au natural route with ginger pills. Ok no. I brought a knife to a gun fight on that one. After spending the majority of our only 'at sea' day tossing (instead of eating) cookies, I said yes to drugs and plowed through the ensuing brain fartdom upchuck-free (aka the way to be). By the end of the trip I had found a strategy that worked best for me, which was to take a 12-hour motion sick pill an hour or two before bed. I felt the worst lying down, so this cured that problemo plus made me sleep like a rock. Got 99 problems but uneating ain't one.
Oh man, there's so many more I can think of but in order to actually end my radio silence I'm just going to make it rain vacay photos and call it good. Mele Kalikimaka.