West Coast Wives

Let me hear you say "Hey Ms Carter!" Heyyyyyyyy. Yup WCW got the squad together to bow before the altar of Yonce at Qualcomm Stadium last night. This long awaited event prompted hours of "What are you wearing?" discussion and "Heels? Flats? or Wedges?" We must have some kinda weird mental connection because rocking skimpy statement bodysuits screaming "Slay" and "Bae Watch".was how us WCW's stayed in theme. I broke out my Isabel Marant knockoff sneaker wedges (i'm still not 100% confident wearing) to tie my whole quasi-urban street chic look together. Thus finding this fence by the porto potties meant urban photo shoot time. Check out them Becky's with the good hair.

Now enough of my self indulgent OOTD rant. Let's bring it back to the Queen Bey. The day's excitement for our crew of 5 was too much for us to keep it together on our Uber ride to the stadium. The inching traffic made us caged savages leading to fist fights on which Bey anthem was going to be playing as we rolled up, debate on the actual definition of Truffle Butter, and discussion of which is the best Blac Chyna emoji. Finally at the concert we rushed to a bar guzzled bad Chardonnay and Coors light to calm the nerves. Then waited........

Ohhhhh Lord did she deliver. It is no surprise that her voice, her dancing, and performance were FLAWLESS. She sang her Lemonade album (which I luckily binge listened and memorized so that Bey and I could sing in unison), and scream worthy hits like Partition, Crazy in Love and my personal favorite Blow Pop. I don't know what multivitamin Yonce is taking but how do you sing, dance, and look so damn good? By the end of an almost two hour set her makeup, hair and composure was still on point. Bodysuits were not just a theme for the WCW's, in fact Beyonce had a bodysuit collection for each wardrobe change that did not disappoint. When in life can i rock a poet shirt bodysuit with that much swag?

I'll go put my lady boner away and go nurse my ruptured vocal chords. Went a little too hard trying to hit that high note in Halo. Here's a selfie parade from last nights shenanigans brought to you by the Lumee Lighted cell phone case.

Until next time "Middle Fingers up, hold your hands high, wave 'em in his face, tell that boy BYE"

I would like to think as I sit here in my cute little craftsman home while driving my white energy efficient SUV, as I carefully meal plan my family's week and strategize my 401k investments that I could be a Ride or Die Bi@#^ch. Do I have what it takes? What does it mean to be ride or die? Who is truly ride or die?

Beyonce and Jay-Z put it in song with "Me and my Girlfriend" and despite rumors of Hova's infidelities Mrs. Carter still proclaims "I love me some Jay-Z".

Hot as f*&k Rihanna took multiple clocks from long time goofy looking boyfriend Chris Brown and despite being publicly revealed as a battered girlfriend she still stood by his side (what penis size could make a fox like her forgive that?). It wasn't until after pouring her heart out in her cathartic and (best song ever!) single "Stay" did RiRi finally kick the violent habit.

But lets step away from just the hip hop community...

New Jersey Housewife Teresa Giudice is now serving 15 months hard time after husband Joe took her down a rabbit hole of multiple fraud counts. With her sentence near an end she will still be returning home to her man ...who will be whisked away 2 days later for his 42 month penitentiary holiday.

Let's not forget our downest B$%&^ of the country; Washington's very own Hilary Clinton. As first lady she stood by her fellated, polka-dot blue dress staining hubby after a humiliation of global proportions.

But now I have to honor one of WestCoastWives very own ride or die B$^&ches of the hour. Our Calabasas-born Khloe Kardashian. She gets an honorary mention in today's blog for going to extraordinary lengths to really hold on to her West Coast Wives status. Miss Khloe K (or shall I say Khloe Odom), decided this past weekend to dismiss her and Lamar's divorce case AFTER her estranged husband put himself in to a drug induced coma while partying too hard with hookers. It has been an already messy separation with disputes over Khloe's vs Lamar's net worth and dealing with Lamar's ever worsening drug addiction. To add to the overflowing water under the bridge Khloe publicly rebounded with B-rated rapper French Montana, and then moved on to another fling with NBA player James Harden. This is all happening whilst Lamar loses his contract with the Knicks. BURN!

But through ALL of this it hasn't stopped Khloe from claiming Lamar as "the love of her life." In an interview with Complex Khloe, she stated;

“Oh my god, I miss him every day, I miss what we had—things we got to do together our just memories. I like looking back and holding on to that stuff. I definitely miss it, and there’s times I’ll get so sentimental and so sad, but this had to happen for some reason. I’ll figure it out over time, someone will give me that answer eventually. I think it would be very f—-ing weird if I didn’t miss it.”

Sigh, The heart wants what the heart wants. Kinda romantic in this convoluted sea of poop. But let;s address what is really on everyone's mind...

BAM! Khloe cut her hair and she is slaying it!!! As you may already know I've been obsessed with her for the last 6 months and this new hair is giving me more reason to obsess. She looks AMMMMMAZZZINGGG!!! and if I could rock a lob, i'd be racing to my hair stylist with this photo. But unfortunately with this 'do I'll end up resembling either a Connie Chung inspired anchor woman, or a suburban soccer mom (no offense suburban moms out there). Trauma, chaos and a lob look good on you Khloe. So on that note, from one WestCoastWife to another- we wish you and Lamar the best.

-Tuyen

Ok WCW's Let's Get in Formation

Ride or Die B*%ches