West Coast Wives

Here's a quickie- what do you do when you've had a NONeffingSTOP day and now your stomach is being a total betch because it's like, wayyyy past din din? Or, what if you just don't feel like whipping up an unprocessed, carb free-saturated fat-free, fresh veggie, rich lean protein-laden masterpiece that takes 27 times longer to make/clean up than eat? This insider tip will suppress your inner Honey Boo Boo, keep you far away from In-N-Out, and be easy on your wallet.

What's the standard go-to when eating out for the ~~vain~~ ~~narcissistic~~ health-conscious worldwide? Sushi, duh. Sashimi more specifically. And you can eat it way more often. Here's the hack- and it's as simple as your local seafood shop. These joints ALWAYS have sashimi-grade SOMEthing, just pick up the phone and find out what that is. Typically it's tuna, salmon, yellow tail... all great options- salmon is my personal fave AND typically the least expensive. Then you tell them to put aside a half pound or so and VOILA sashimi on the cheap.

Are you not entertained? Ok, fine. Here are some muy important wisdom nuggets:

1. Pretty much any fresh salmon can be sashimi grade- it's a matter of FREEZING it. Once frozen and de-thawed it is safe for raw consumption. And calling ahead bypasses you having to do this at home.

2. *IMPORTANT* Do NOT let them slice the fish for you. This will then be considered a 'sashimi platter' and will quadruple in price (just like the Lanvin in my RealReal cart that I didn't snatch while on flash sale). This is where you do the heavy lifting by grabbing your sharpest weapon out of the butcher block and get all Morimoto on that shit.

3. Make it a meal by topping with avo and fresh jalapeño. You can get cray and top it with other crap, but those are my go-tos.

And TAH-DAH! FYI- this bad boy cost less than 15 bones.

Konichiwa and Sayonora~

Jeanie

This is the sort of thing I would post if I was super immature and didn't own such an advanced sense of humor.